Too Much Sexual Napalm For John Mayer To Handle

April 17, 2010 / Posted by: Michael K

Coochella (on purpose typo) Music Festival started up yesterday, which means dozens of famewhores descended upon Indio, CA to drink the sweet nectar out of plastic cups and add to their sand crab collection (see Wonky). John Mayer also momentarily left his Summer’s Eve box to go to Coochella, and here he is giving the sex eye to a goddess (You’re getting Ricki Lake in Hairspray vibes, right?) who is light years away from his league.

John’s David Duke penis needs to go to a Klan rally or something, and leave this fine young thing alone if he knows what’s good for him. Fuck Sexual Napalm. Bitch could make John’s dick go boom just by licking her lips. John probably already has the Chernobyl of crotches, but this woman will leave him completely destroyed. It’s best he back away and play with girls his own speed.

Anways, here’s more hos frolicking on the grounds of Coochella including: Kelly Osbourne, Basement Baby, Katy Perry, Scott Speedman, Rotten Peaches with Eli Roth, Wonks, and DANNY DEVITO (I’m not trying to see his CROCS)!!!!

Tags: John Mayer, Katy Perry, Kelly Osbourne, Sandra Bullock, Solange

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