Kim Kardassian As You’ve Never Seen Her Before

April 16, 2010 / Posted by:

And by “as you’ve never seen her before,” I really mean as you’ve only seen her. Seriously, will somebody clap at Kim Kardassian and tell her to get up off the floor and put on some damn clothes already. The world is not her nudist colony. The minute we go back to the cave man days where everybody ran around the land practically naked, she’ll be the first to know.

Anytheroomsuddenlysmellslikepissscentedfarts, here’s Kim Kardassian naked and unretouched in Harper’s Bazaar. Kim says that she decided to go sans Photoshop to show all the young “curvy” girls out there to be proud of their natural bodies. Says the bitch who has enough motor oil (or whatever) in her face to fill up a dozen cars at Jiffy Lube.

Here’s Kim:

On being a curvy role model: “I feel proud if young girls look up to me and say, ‘I’m curvy, and I’m proud of it now.”

On having big bitties as a kid: “I was wearing a C cup by the time I was 11. I would go to bed and pray, ‘Please, Lord, don’t let my boobs grow any bigger. I hated what was happening.”

On her supposedly free-range and organic ass: “I’m Armenian. It’s normal. My butt is probably not as big as you might think, because I have small legs and a small waist, which makes it appear bigger.”

Now I’m not saying that Kim isn’t Photoshopped (Yish, I am), but I am saying that she’s probably covered with buckets of bronzer and foundation. Zac Efron is going to be pissed when he goes into MAC for the usual and they tell him that Kim wiped them out. Better go rub your face on Kim’s ass, Zac.

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