Here Lies A Broke Ass Crazy Bitch

April 16, 2010 / Posted by:

Nicolas Cage’s checking account is currently as empty as a box of powdered donuts ten seconds after being visited by Kirstie Alley. Nicolas is losing his homes faster than a Real Housewife of Atlanta and he owes the IRS millions of dollars, yet he still went out and dropped his coins on a frivolous piece of tacky gift shop shit.

TMZ says that Nicolas recently had this 9-foot pyramid-shaped tomb built in a cemetery in New Orleans. This will be Nicolas’ final resting place, but if he keeps it up he’ll have to move in sooner rather than later. I’m not saying that Nicolas will die soon, I’m saying that he will literally have to move his entire family in there, because he’ll have nowhere else to live. That will be good news for his dignity and common sense, because it probably gets lonesome in that tomb all by themselves.

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