It really doesn’t bother me that Jakey Gyllenhaal looks like a delicately oven roasted chicken lollipop in granpappy’s Easter suit on the cover of GQ. But it does bother me that they oh-so-carefully placed his tie OVER his special bubble boy area. Cock blocking is offensive in any form.
Jakey on Heath’s death: “I don’t really like talking about it. That period of time was…it was difficult. He was very sensitive. He didn’t always have a sense of performance in his everyday life. He knew who he was. I think actors very often, they know how to present something, and that’s part of their job. I think he was just really sensitive. We often used to do a lot of things together, because people were very interested in him and I think we felt safe together. Even when we did Brokeback and stuff, it was like my work was the only thing that mattered to me. It was like I could only understand or define myself through doing that. Life, I didn’t totally understand. And I think I was afraid of life. And I had success in my work, enough success that you could keep going back there. But after that happened…I think I recognized that it was work. And I recognized that this is for real.”
Jakey on being single: “It’s…it’s okay…. It goes in either direction. I think it’s important for every man to find the right woman and every woman to find the right man…. Who am I to say what the most important thing in life is? The best answer I could give to any of those things is that I really don’t know. Particularly right now in my life.”
Every man has to find the right woman and vice versa?! Fuck me in the throat with a Reese Witherspoon romcom. If by the “right woman,” Jakey personally means the perfect lady friend who will tell you to brush your teeth because your breath smells like old jizz or who will throw a cocktail in the face of the fuck buddy who did you wrong, then I’m right there with him. Every straight man needs a straight woman just as much as every fruit needs a fly.