The End Of Days: RPattz As Kurt Cobain

April 9, 2010 / Posted by:

If you feel a little rumble coming from the Earth’s surface this morning, there’s no need to stop, drop and roll a joint. It’s not an earthquake. It’s just Kurt Cobain continuously rolling in his grave over the news that the keeper of The Magical Unicorn Forest, RPattz, is in talks to play him in a biopic.

According to The Sun (I know, I know), crazy ass Courtney Love is working closely with Universal Pictures to bring Kurt Cobain’s story to the big screen. Courtney only agreed to give Universal the rights to Kurt’s story if she got final approval on everything from casting to the script. A source says that Courtney’s first choice to play Kurt is the sparkly vamp and she wants ScarJo to play her. Court has also been talking to David Fincher about directing the movie. The source went on to say, “Robert has been calling and emailing her non-stop. She has been a bit wound up by his manners, but he is her number one choice to play Kurt. She is adamant Scarlett will play her. Scarlett is friendly with Frances Bean, her daughter with Kurt.”

And let me guess, Court wants Joe Jonas to play Dave Grohl?!

Seriously, which fourth horsemen is this?! The only major decision Courtney should be making is choosing which padded room is the most comfortable. RPattz as Kurt Cobain would basically be Edward Cullen in flannel. If Courtney Love is dozed off in a gutter in 99% of the movie, then ScarJo would be an okay choice to play her. This is suckery to the millionth degree. Let’s just pretend someone spiked the coffee pot with peyote at The Sun’s offices….

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