Fishy Says Real Happiness Is A Fart Joke

April 9, 2010 / Posted by:

Fishsticks Paltrow is currently shooting a movie in Nashville, and that’s where she first tasted such foreign delicacies like ice cream sundaes and the curiously charming dish known as fried fucking chicken. Fishy wrote about her fascination with the foods of Nashville in her POOP newsletter. Isn’t it fun when the mistress of the manor comes down to the kitchen to eat with the maids and butlers?

In the newest Harper’s Bazaar, Fishy continues to talk about how she gorged on fried deliciousness and the sweet nectar in Nashville. Fishy added a little chunk to her gills due to eating so much common people food. She tells Bazaar, “I was so bad with the food and alcohol in Nashville. If you saw me naked [now] compared to what I looked like when I did Iron Man 2, when I was exercising every day – I’ll get it back together, but I’ve never eaten so much fried food and white flour in my life, ever.

Fishy shouldn’t be so hard on herself. Seeing her fully nekkid ass nekkid would have the same effect on me with or without a little dough on her fins. Hell, I would even feel every kind of nausea if she was sprawled out naked on a bowl of crushed Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies. Or if she was completely naked except for Anderson Cooper’s penis on her head. Okay, I’m lying. I might feel a little twitch in the nip area if she posed with a Mah Boo penis hat on her head.

Since Fishy has been feasting on the food of the gods (aka fried carbs), she probably has been farting like a power bottom after a pass-around-orgy. And it doesn’t bother Fishy at all, because she says she’s happiest when her kid is telling fart jokes. She says, “When you’re having dinner with your kids and your husband and someone says something funny or you’re dying laughing because your 3-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn’t matter what else is going on. That’s real happiness.

That it is. Although, her kid is probably just quoting something from GOOP, which is pretty much the equivalent of a fart.

Click here to read the rest of her interview, if you care. Fishy also says she feels sorry for all the paps who get calls from Brangelina first this in the morning to come and shoot their family pap attention Brangelina gets!

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