Vanilla Gorilla Does Not Have A Sex Tape

April 8, 2010 / Posted by:

Sandra Bullock has already come out and said that you need to look elsewhere for a Nazi and scat-filled fuck tape (hint: Mel Gibson’s attic), because she never made one with Vanilla Gorilla.

Yesterday, Vanilla Gorilla released his own statement denying the existence of ANY fuck tape starring him. There was a rumor floating around the toilet that VG made nearly a dozen tapes with several of his side-hos. VG burps to People that it ain’t so:

“The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated.”

Isn’t fabricated a strange word? Obviously, it makes me think of fabric, which makes me think of Jo-Ann’s, which makes me think of Butterick patterns, which makes me wonder if they ever made patterns for Nazi uniforms. VG would know. But I’m digressing again…

So there you go. NO SEX TAPES. Class is released. You can go back to not giving a dick.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >