It looks like Kiely Williams recently took a crash course at Lindsay Lohan’s Night School of Excuses, because the defense she came up with for the date rape anthem “Spectacular” is some real spectacular bullshit! In case you have no idea what I’m going on about, watch the motel porn preview above or click here to get the gist. Warning: It will leave you singing “Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off” for the rest of the day. Actually, you probably sing that anyway throughout the day, so ignore the warning.
Instead of pleading the ho fifth by putting a peen on it, Kiely came up with this ridiculously hilarious shit:
“ATTENTION: I am an actor and performer. I have been so since my first role in a television pilot at five years old. I played a character when I was a Cheetah Girl. I am playing a character in the music video for the song Spectacular, as I did in the Cheetah Girl movies. Young women across the country get intoxicated and have unprotected sex. That’s a fact. I recorded the song to bring attention to this frighteningly prevalent activity. It is absurd to infer or suggest that I am condoning this behavior.
Are Lady Gaga and Beyonce advocating murder with the Telephone video? Of, course not. Was Rihanna encouraging suicide with Russian Roulette? No. Was Madonna suggesting that young unmarried girls get pregnant with Papa Dont Preach? I dont think so. Is Academy Award winner Monique a proponent of incest because of her portrayal of Mary in the movie Precious. Clearly, the answer is no.
I wrote Spectacular and made the video to bring attention to a serious womens health and safety issue. Please dont shoot the messenger.”
HA. Is Kiely really trying to pass off this ho shit masterpiece off as a public service announcement for women’s health issues?! More like a penis service announcement. Stop trying to roofie our eyes and ears, Kiely! We are well aware what’s up in this video, and it’s your ass. If you want to pop your pussy on the train tracks, more power to you. But don’t try to pass it off as something more than popping your pussy on the train tracks.
With all that being said, we all should really thank Kiely for giving us an excuse to tell the cops when we get caught giving oral to a stranger on the street in between taking hits from a joint. “Officer, I was only sucking that stranger’s weenus and smoking the devil weed to show our nation’s youth that being a stoned out public slut is no life.”