The Sex Moan Defense

April 7, 2010 / Posted by:

Gary Dourdan’s girlfriend Maria Asis del Alamo was arrested last month on suspicion of domestic abuse after she allegedly scratched at him during a fight. Well, TMZ says that prosecutors have dismissed the case, because they believe the scratch on Gary’s neck was not created out of rage….but out of nut busting ecstasy instead. Gary and Maria both told police that they weren’t fighting the night she got arrested, they were actually getting their orgasm on.

Apparently, one of the neighbors mistook their jizz-churning fuck moans as violent screams. When the cops arrived, Gary tried to explain the sexuation to them, but they arrested Maria anyway after peeping at the scratch on his neck.

Um. Who doesn’t know the difference between sex sounds and fight sounds? Gary and Maria must be throw around some nasty violent talk in bed. Maria was probably screaming shit like, “Call the ambulance, because I’m going to break your bone!” and “Say goodbye to your huevos, because my pussy is going to beat them off your body!” And Gary said shit like, “Draw a chalk outline of your vagina on the floor, because I’m going to murder it tonight! Cooch Scene Investigation!” Freaky ass freak bitches!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >