Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael and Kate Major, Star Magazine reporter turned girlfriend of Jon Gosselin, have announced that they are engaged to be married. Cue the cricket farts.
50-year-old Michael tells People that they spent the Easter holiday with Kate’s family so that he could get her father’s approval. 27-year-old Kate cleared the bull feces out of her mouth and then said, “I’m very traditional, so I wanted him to talk to my father. Michael went down with me to Florida for Easter, to meet my father to ask for his permission, and my father gave his blessing. I’m ecstatic. I’m very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it’s meant to be.”
Michael added, “I’m ecstatic. I’ve never met anyone who’s been there for me like Kate. She’s always been there for me. The one thing about Kate is that she doesn’t come with baggage.”
Doesn’t it make your sphincter itch when two famewhores find love with each other? I’m sure they will share their pure love with the country in a wedding that will be televised on the Fox Reality Channel on a Monday at 3am.
But seriously, Kate’s father must not only hate her, but he also must hate himself. Kate, who has the face of a Bulldog puppy with downs, not only dated Jon Grosselin, but now she’s MARRYING Michael Lohan?! What went wrong?! Kate probably got into her mother’s bathroom cabinet when she was a child and drank an entire bottle of Summer’s Eve. She hasn’t been the same since.