Of Course: Vanilla Gorilla Has Tons Of Sex Tapes

April 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Don’t be surprised if you see an infomercial late one night for Time Life’s complete collection of Vanilla Gorilla’s Nazi-themed fuck tapes, because apparently he made tons of them. Why is that we never get sex tapes featuring hos we actually want to see bumping and boning (I’m staring at you, Mah Boo and Rojo Caliente)?

Some source type tells Radar that VG shot more than a dozen sex tapes with several of his side-whores. A few of the tapes are currently making the rounds on the auction block.

When this story first broke, a bunch of us joked that VG probably gives the Nazi salute when he’s hitting it from the back. Well, we might not have been far from the truth, because the source says that the sex tapes are filled with Nazi shit. The source said, “What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute. It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then.”

Vanilla Gorilla needs to go back to Nazi school, because Hitler liked to sip from a silver cup filled with freshly squeezed naranja juice while getting a beej. Not bourbon.

Radar’s source didn’t say anything about any sex tapes co-starring Sandra Bullock, but there is a shitty (literally) rumor going around that such a tape exists. Take the rumor with an entire Morton Salt Factory, because the tape apparently features a Dirty Sanchez, a shotgun, handcuffs and a Nazi hat.

At this point, I really wouldn’t be surprised if we learned that this entire Nazi-ery spectacle is being produced by Leo Bloom and Max Bialystock. This is seriously the worst fucking show ever.

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