If you’re currently in Miami, you might be wondering why volunteers from the free clinic are handing out crotch masks and roach spray on the streets. It’s because the whores of Jersey Shore have landed in Miami to terrorize and infect your city!
Yesterday, the entire cast including Snookers (who looks like a human version of a Taco Bell Chalupa), Sammi Sweetfart, Ronnie, The Constipation, DJ Pauly D and The Other One all moved into a house on South Beach that will soon be quarantined and declared a toxic zone by the Department of Health. Even Angelina, the chick who quit season one after a couple of episodes, is back! And it looks like one of her well-off cousins let her borrow their suitcase, so she wouldn’t have to raid her mother’s kitchen cabinet for a trash bag to carry her clothes in. Bitches are going big this season!
And if you’re a Miami citizen who is still upset by these pictures, look on the bright side! That pesky case of crotch crabs you’ve been trying to shake off will soon be a thing of the past! Your crotch crabs will soon be heading for muskier pastures (aka The Situation’s nut bush).