At Least They’ll Always Have This

April 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have put their genitals back on the market and split up after 5 years together. Jenny decided to end things when she found out Jim was vaccinated as a child and so she couldn’t risk infecting herself by licking his pre-cum. It’s understandable. I’m with Jenny.

Jim and Jenny both announced the split on their Twatter accounts. Jim was up first:

Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>

And then Jenny:

Im so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane (Ed note: Jane is Jim’s daughter) and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.

You know, it’s nice that we’ve returned to the days where celebwhores can peacefully break up without help from a stash of secret mistress whores and/or a sex tape. Shit, I’ve jinxed it, haven’t I? Well, hopefully Jenny is the one with the secret whores, because we need more peen around these parts.

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