Fishsticks Paltrow Hates Somebody

April 5, 2010 / Posted by:

When Fishsticks Paltrow is awakened by her dawn simulation device in the morning, she rips off her $5000 Frette sheets, slips on her organic silk robe (a gift from the Dalai Lama), locks herself in the bathroom (or “the loo” as she calls it) and violently punches at a voodoo doll in between her breathing exercises. That’s because POOPY is currently angry at a friend!

Fishy tells British Vogue (via Telegraph), “Oh yes, I can be mean. I can cave in to gossip. I can ice people out and I can definitely harbour revenge. In fact, I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry. But revenge is corrosive and it doesn’t make me feel good. I’ll wake up in the morning and think, ‘Ugh, I feel terrible’, and suddenly realise, “Ah, I’m a pretentious bitch. That’s why I feel terrible.”

No, she didn’t say that end part. I stuffed that into her lips. This is what she really said, “‘Ah, that’s why. I’m holding on to so much hate.'”

Fishy does realize that if she just unclenches her asshole, the stick will fall out along with all the hate? But honestly I don’t want the hate to fall out, because I like Fishy best when she brings out the cuntness. Speaking of…

When Vogue brought up the fact that her trainer Tracy Anderson no longer works with Vadge, Fishy said, “Yeah, it’s good that she doesn’t train Madonna any more. It was too much. She keeps people waiting – it takes up your whole day.”

Did I say a voodoo doll earlier? I meant that she yoga punches at a Mad Hatter doll. It’s the closest thing she could get to a Vadge doll.

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