Even Nicolas Cage’s Hair Is Going Bankrupt

April 5, 2010 / Posted by:

If Chad Kroeger’s over-lubricated hair and Donald Trump’s parched straw nest butt fucked on top of Nicolas Cage’s head and got stuck….it would look just like this.

Nicolas Cage debuted his new Mickey Rourke-like (delivered with a Loki side-eye) weave at WonderCon in San Francisco, CA yesterday. Nicolas told reporters that he dyed his hair “Florida truck stop hooker” blonde for a movie role. No, the movie role is not The Crypt Keeper. It’s for some shit called Drive Angry.

I know Nicolas broker than a Lohan, but he could’ve put down the Sun-In bottle and called up one of my cousins to bleach his hair the right way. They would’ve done a better job using a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and a garden hose. This is some Section 8 weave shit.

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