Hot Slut Of The Day!

Rep. Hank Johnson, a Democrat Congressman from Georgia who is afraid that overpopulation on Guam might cause it to tip over and capsize. Hank believes this based on the scientific information he gathered while playing Jenga.

During a House Armed Services Committee hearing on March 25th (a week before April Fools), ole’ Hank said that he’s afraid if the military continues to send more personnel to Guam, the island could possibly flip into the ocean. Admiral Willard, who was speaking on behalf of the military, doesn’t think that’s going to happen, because Guam is attached to the ocean’s floor. HA! Congress is fun. Congress is silly. Congress is HIGH AS A LOHAN (Freebasing hand soap in the men’s room, I see). Cue the comedy:

Now, Hank suffers from the Hep C and he’s on serious meds, so sometimes his thoughts take these long medicated journeys through Planet WTF. But in a statement issued by Hank yesterday, he says he was merely telling jokes! Hank said, “The subtle humor of this obviously metaphorical reference to a ship capsizing illustrated my concern about the impact of the planned military buildup on this small tropical island.”

You know he wasn’t joking.

But for serious, in ten years when we hear people screaming “JENGA! JENGA! JENGA” while watching Guam tip over and fall, we’re all going to be thinking to ourselves, “Shit damn! That crazy Hank was right!”