Somebody Is Marrying This Fine Thing

April 1, 2010 / Posted by:

Aaron Carter, who has a face that can make any meth pipe swoon, is engaged to be married for the second time in his twenty….um…twenty….err…twenty…hurg….twenty….spit…twenty….no, even I can’t type that out with straight fingers. Just click here for his age.

Anyway, Aaron proposed recently to his 19-year-old student/dancer/sadomasochist girlfriend Maile Hochuli in the middle of watching Alice in Wonderland at the movie theater.

Some source tells Star Magazine, “Aaron took Maile to the movie Alice in Wonderland, which she has been dying to see. She didn’t get to see the end of the movie though because Aaron got down on a knee and proposed with a beautiful pear shaped diamond ring! Maile was completely overjoyed and said yes immediately! Aaron and Maile have only been dating for a short period of time but they are both extremely happy. This is the happiest I have ever seen Maile.”

I’m sure the other hos in the theater were thrilled when Aaron interrupted the movie. You know some pissed off bitch asked for the manager for a refund after they were forced to watch Aaron’s face contort like a ready-to-explode hemorrhoid while crying in front of his girlfriend when she accepted his proposal. Not even processed butter can kill that taste in your mouth.

Aaron was last engaged to that tragic gutter creature Kari Ann Peniche, but it only lasted a quick second. Aaron’s relationship to this Maile girl will last longer, I’m sure. She’s young, so her heart can take it when she opens up her eyes to that face every morning.

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