Leave Skittles Out Of This!

March 31, 2010 / Posted by:

Thanks to Life & Style, I will never be able to enjoy the tastes of the rainbow without thinking about Jesse James’ foursome that involved Skittles and a latex glove. You’ve gone too far when you start to taint the delicious taste of fruit candies.

The good news is that Vanilla Gorilla was not using Skittles as anal beads. I know that’s where your filthy brain went. Apparently, VG had a foursome with some trick named Skittles Valentine (bitch obviously got that name from the drag queen name generator), her boyfriend Eric MacDougall, and Bombsite McGee. Eric tells Life & Style that they all got down and dirty after a tattoo festival in San Diego last June.

Bombshit brought VG into Eric’s tattoo shop to get his octopus tattoo filled in. One thing led to another, and the four found themselves creating new types of STDs in the back room. Skittles says, “Eric and I were having sex, so we switched off, and Jesse and I had sex. I had an awesome time. I think Jesse is so cute.” Just when you think it couldn’t get trashier, the fuck games ended when Bombskank beat on Skittles for spending too much time with Vanilla Gorilla. Is Seth MacFarlane producing foursomes now?

And what about that latex glove? Eric says that although they didn’t use protection, he might have used a latex glove as a condom. Eric explains, “I don’t know. Sometimes as a last-case scenario I tie a latex glove finger off.

So basically, Eric is trying to tell you to never ever have sex with him no matter what. First of all, your genitals will end up with the sicks if you do. Second of all, Eric’s peen must be Jon Gosselin-sized if he can fit it into the finger of a latex glove. Skittles can keep him.

And in case you need a visual, here’s a beautiful picture of Eric and Skittles. Yup, Skittles really does love her Skittles.

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