Hollywood Hates Goldie Hawn

March 31, 2010 / Posted by:

The evil executioners of Hollywood need to stop punishing Goldie Hawn for the existence of Kate Hudson. It’s not entirely her fault, yet they continue to kick her in the bagina bone by ruining her classics. They have already put Overboard under the guillotine, and now The Hollywood Reporter is saying that they are going after Private Benjamin.

Screenwriter Amy Talkington and producer Mark Gordon are working to bring this shit into modern day. They will also reference the wars going on in the world right now. Expect to see a zany ass version of Osama Bin Laden played by Jimmy Fallon. Or maybe Billy Goat Brad…. Hmmm….he does have the beard for it.

Anna Faris is in talks to play the title role. Well, it could be worse. They could be talking to Jessica Simpson. Oh wait.

You know, Hollywood can have Overboard and Private Benjamin. But they better not even think about putting out a remake of Death Becomes Her starring Katherine Hagel…. Fuck, I’m giving them ammunition.

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