So Much Better Than Crying Girl

And you thought you were the only one who bled from all of your face holes while watching the animal slaughter known as American Idol. Well, you’re not alone. During last night’s show, the camera cut to two bloody girls in the audience. Simon got jealous, because he wishes his ears would literally bleed when he says, “My ears are bloody bleeding!”

The truth is, the girls were friends of that Siobhan chick and they did themselves up as zombies to support her. You know, it’s just like the time your friend’s dressed up like cheap whores to support you in court. Yeah, like that. And it’s fitting that Siobhan’s friends would dress up like zombies since her high-pitched “mid-pubescent red fox getting castrated with a butter knife” screech forces dead bodies to jump from their graves and throw themselves into the nearest fire.

And if for some reason you too want to look like a zombie today, just watch Miley Cyrus’ performance on Idol. Your skin will crack and you’ll turn grey from choking yourself. However, if you suffer through the pain, your boss will probably send you home early! #brightside

(Image via The Daily Wha.at)