Kim Zolciak Is Bi-Sexual…Blah…Blah

The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s resident low-budget bitch Kim Zolciak previously denied that she was bumping merkins with DJ Tracy Young. Kim has now decided to come clean and admit that she loves the cooch as much as she loves the cock. Kim held up her “Will Eat Vag 4 Publicity” cardboard sign and DJ Tracy Young came running. Kim queefs it all out to Life & Style:

L&S: Was there chemistry the first time you and Tracy met?
Kim: Well, we were both going through heartbreak at the time. I had split up with Big Poppa, and she had just ended a relationship she had been in for three years. The first night we met, we just connected on a different level. We ended up talking for two hours. After that, we started working in the studio together, remixing “Tardy for the Party.” We gradually became closer.

L&S: Can you pinpoint the moment when things became romantic?
Kim: There were sparks, but [physically] it was a gradual situation. Tracy made the first move. Our first kiss was passionate and exciting.

L&S: Were you ever tempted to deny your relationship with Tracy?
Kim: No. I’ve never denied anything. I don’t lie. I’m not embarrassed by anything I’ve ever done in my life. But I wasn’t ready to discuss it when the story broke. I hadn’t even had the chance to talk to my family about it. It was so unfair.

L&S: Do you feel you’re giving a voice to other bisexual parents?
Kim: I’m among the millions of parents who have been in a gay or lesbian relationship. It hasn’t been an easy road lately, but I feel there are no mistakes in my life. Everything happens for a reason. To have the opportunity to speak for myself and to have people understand what I’m going through is really special. I myself was confused and scared at first. Being able to speak from my heart and get this all out, it’s a huge relief for me.

If this bitch’s wig had eyes it would’ve already broken the Guinness World Record for the longest continuous eye roll. I mean, what in the hell is she going on about? Just slap her with a million of Dwight’s “How Dreadfuls.”

We all know that the two Ps Kim cares most about aren’t “peen” and “poon.” They are “publicity” and “paper.” If humping on a piece of lasagna got her a cover of Life & Style, bitch would declare that she’s a carb-sexual. No offense to Garfield.