Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 24, 2010 / Posted by:

The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay!

For more than a year now, a monkey has been terrorizing the Tampa Bay area of Florida and authorities have failed to successfully capture him. The monkey will steal your grapefruits, swim in your pool and run the hell away after you shoot it with a tranquilizer. Some seem to think that the monkey is a junked-up junkie and wants you to shoot it with a tranquilizer so it can get its fix! Hm. Somebody needs to start tracing family trees, because this monkey might be a Lohan. I mean, orange skin, grapefruit smuggler, flea-ridden hair and a thirst for the hard stuff? Yup, White Oprah better issue a statement soon.

TampaBay.com has put together an entire web page devoted to the mystery monkey. If you come in contact with the junkie monkey, drop all your grapefruits and contact the authorities. Or if you’re in the party mood, put on a pair of gloves, grab a handful of tranquilizers and get ready to spend your night swinging on sturdy branches (that’s not a euphemism).

(For Francesca)

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