From The Department Of Shit Ideas

March 24, 2010 / Posted by:

Somebody kindly lead Garry Marshall to the nurse’s office so he can lay down with a warm towel on his head, because he’s obviously not right. He’s rambling on and on about how he’s going to do a big screen version of Laverne & Shirley with Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel in the title roles. I mean, Garry obviously mixed up his medications or something.

During press junkets for that Valentine’s Day crap, Garry joked out about how the chemistry between Jennifer and Jessica is so strong that he thinks they would make a wonderful Laverne & Shirley. It was all just jokes then, but now it’s becoming a reality. Garry tells TV Guide (via Coming Soon) that he is working on a modern version of L&S, and has asked Jamie Foxx to write the script. I’m telling you! Pepaw’s talking craziness, and needs to lie down now!

Garry said, “Jamie and I are trying to do it. He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.

WTFWTFWTFWTF. Let’s say you put an obese raccoon, Justin Bieber, a toothless troll, Jesse James’ fuck couch and Jennifer Garner in a line-up. Let’s say you then asked me to pick who should play Laverne in a movie version of Laverne & Shirley. Jennifer Garner would be my last choice. Don’t get me started on Jessica Biel.

And Jamie Foxx writing the script?! Garry, if one of your life goals is to win more Razzies than anybody else, you are headed in the right direction.

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