Sandra Bullock Might Drop The Big D In Vanilla Gorilla’s Lap

March 23, 2010 / Posted by:

I guess Sandra Bullock just can’t get past the image of her husband Vanilla Gorilla painting a Swastika with his own jizz on his neo-Nazi whore’s tits after Hitler saluting her snatch with his penis. Yeah, even a million viewings of Milo & Otis can’t kill that picture, so Sandra is circling around a bunch of divorce lawyers. That’s what TMZ is saying anyway.

According to their sources, Sandra’s people have been talking to several fancy divorce lawyers. Jesse’s people have also reached out to several lawyers in case Sandra decides to officially quit his ass.

Part of me figured that Jesse James was going to take a page out of Tiger Wood’s playbook and go to sex rehab to win Sandra back. Then they would reunite and sit down with Diane Sawyer to talk about how despite all the STDs Jesse gifted her with, their marriage is better than ever. Blah. Blah.

Then the other part of me figured Sandra would take her bag of gold and run the other way, because how can you lick on a dick that was once in Boobshit McGee? That’s both a pussy and a deal breaker.

But the more important question is…..who is going to get custody of CINNABUN?! My guess is that Cinnabun has already snuck onto a Peter Pan Bus bound for Austin (where Sandy B is hiding out).

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