HA! Like The Lohans Brush Their Teeth

March 19, 2010 / Posted by:

Since Shoe-Han has joined the Labor Pains DVD at the bottom of the barrel, White Oprah needs a new dance to keep her relevant. White Oprah is now focusing all of her attention on eco-friendly tooth brushes! Just call her Green Oprah! No, don’t.

Here’s the KANYE-FIED press release which is a joke in itself:

LOHAN TO LAUNCH
ECO- FRIENDLY INITIATIVE AND TO INTRODUCE ”THE LOHAN GREEN TOOTH BRUSH” TODAY IN MANHATTAN AT PRESS CONFERENCE

LINDSAY LOHAN’S MOTHER DINA LOHAN WILL JOIN ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS IN A MAJOR PRESS CONFERENCE INTRODUCING ONE OF THE FIRST WATER FREE TOOTH BRUSHES IN AMERICA. ”THE AQUA FREEDOM GREEN LOHAN BRUSH” WILL BE UNVEILED ON AT THE ”GO GREEN EXPO” ON FRIDAY MARCH 19, 2010 AT 11:30AM AT PIER 92 ON 12th AVENUE & W 55th STREET.THE BRUSH WILL SAVE THE AVERAGE CONSUMER OVER TWO GALLONS OF WATER IN THE BATHROOM A DAY. IT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR CONSUMERS INTERNATIONALLY IN MAY DURING MOTHERS DAY WEEK. DINA WILL ALSO UNVEIL A GO GREEN INITIATIVE FOR LOCAL NYC FAMILIES.

If the Lohans really wanted to help the environment and go green, they’d move into the nearest compost pile. Aw. I shouldn’t say that. White Oprah is trying. Besides, this sort of makes sense since hearing the name “Lohan” causes most people to scrub their entire body down with a toothbrush.

Also, I can’t wait until White Oprah extends her line of Lohan dental products by putting out a tube of mint-flavored Adderall paste and teeth-whitening coke strips.

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