Vanilla Gorilla Is Sorry

Jesse James has broken the awkward silence in the room by releasing an open apology to his wife Sandra Bullock and his three chirruns. Jesse doesn’t come out and say that he boned that Bombshell trick, but I’m sure he’s not apologizing for leaving a log in the toilet without flushing. Or maybe he is, because that would be pretty embarrassing and uncalled for. Here’s Jesse’s statement to People:

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.

There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.

“This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Hmm. That’s all nice and everything, but where’s Jesse’s direct apology to CinnaBun?!!!

CinnaBun probably wouldn’t accept Jesse’s apology anyway since TMZ reports that she is missing again. This is the second time this year! Poor CinnaBun. She’s probably at the dollar theater watching The Blind Side over and over again.