The Featherweight Champion Of The World

You know how you regularly hug a bottle of whiskey, and kiss it goodnight before caressing its forehead? Well, Mike Tyson does that too, but he does it with pigeons. PIGEONS! Yes, those nasty creatures that always shit on your head without buying you a drink first.

Mike loves pigeons so much that he’s doing a reality show about pigeon racing for Animal Planet. So let’s recap. Mike Tyson loves pigeons, and there’s such a thing as pigeon racing. Did I just get to this planet or something? What in the pigeon head fuck?

The New York Daily News says that “Taking on Tyson” will begin production this Spring in NYC. Mike will take viewers into the competitive world of pigeon racing. Mike has raised pigeons all of his life, but he’s never raced them. Cameras will follow him as a team of experts helps him train and race his pigeons against more experienced pigeon racers. Seriously, I’ve got the same look on my face that Mike Tyson had when Robin Givens was telling Barbara Walters about how he beat her ass. This world is crazy.

Jokes aside, I have a feeling that Mike Tyson is going to be the greatest pigeon racer who ever raced. Think about it. If you were a pigeon and Mike Tyson had just let you go, you’d fly as though you were getting fucked in the butt by a lit firecracker. You’d fly far far away from his scary face.

And did somebody say PIGEON:

This better be the theme song for Mike’s show.