At a Gotham Magazine party in NYC last night, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats stepped out together as a couple for the first time. In case you haven’t heard the whispers on the playground, Swizz is currently going through a messy divorce from his wife Mashonda. Shit got dirtier after Mashonda wrote an open letter accusing Alicia Keys of Sienna Miller-ing her marriage. And here we are now.
But on to more important matters, did Alicia replace her bottle of Proactiv with Swizz’s pencil peen (you know that’s what it looks like), because her skin looks like Tommy Girl’s ass cheeks if he gets too close to a bottle of anti-depressants.
And I know Swizz looks like a perma stoner with a bad case of the farts, but I still would. I can’t help it, but his Adrien Brody nose is making my b-hole want to scoot on over.