Yes, Michael Lohan has a heart. And yes, that heart attacked itself this afternoon. Michael’s girlfriend Kate Major (who kind of looks like the kid from Two And A Half Men dressed as Tara Reid) told TMZ that Michael was rushed to a hospital in New York after complaining that his chest hurt. An EKG performed at the hospital showed that Michael had a little piece of karma lodged in his arteries, so doctors will unclog them this Friday.
Kate made sure to make every stop on the famewhore train, because she even called up Radar. Kate told them, “He was short of breath all day. His blood pressure skyrocketed. Right now they’ve told him it looks like he had a minor heart attack but they are still doing tests on him. Michael was in Miami. We just flew back to New York last night. But he didn’t feel well all day today.”
And if you missed any of this, there will be a week-long special devoted to this shit on The Insider. Fire up the artery cam!