Somewhere in a 2-bedroom townhouse in the Valley, Jamie Kennedy is pawing at the wounds JLove’s vagazzled snatch left on his fupa and thinking about how much he’ll miss chewing on her “pear ass” (and you know he topped it with cottage cheese too). That’s because JLove and Jamie have sent their relationship down the gutter of broken hearts. After about a year of dating, JLove’s spokesbitch tells People that they are no longer together. And Jamie better polish up his resume, because ho is going to get pink-slipped from The Ghost Whisperer any day now.
Don’t eat an entire Entenmann’s cake for JLove, though. I’m sure she’s already holding hands with a new dude in the quad. Right before she gave Jamie Kennedy a mix-tape of break-up songs, she passed some random dude a note in homeroom that read: “Will you go around with me? Circle yes or no.” Yes, bitch is a devoted member of the “Don’t Quit A Man Until You’ve Got A New One” club. So her vagazzled vag is still sparkling. And Jamie’s still got a face like the creepy history teacher who tells the girls how pretty they look in their short skirts.