Wrestling Accident My Ass

March 12, 2010 / Posted by:

The long lost twin of a plate of fried cheese, Mickey Rourke, claims he tore his bicep while wrestling in London, which is the reason why he’s wearing a brace on his arm. Somebody up in heaven (I’m talking to you, Bea Arthur) needs to gently hit Loki in the head, because his eyeballs got stuck mid-roll.

Unlike his character in The Wrestler, we all know that Mickey is pretty much indestructible in the ring. Most of his opponents end up hitting themselves in the face after staring into Mickey’s mug for longer than a few seconds. So I really doubt this was a wrestling-related injury. Since Mickey’s other body parts have a mind of their own, his arm was caught off guard one morning when he kissed his guns and it defended itself by punching him in the face. Mickey’s face is about as hard as Gay Al’s clit, so biceps tore and bones broke.

Now Mickey’s left hand gets to experience the pleasure of gripping Mickey’s deep fried peen. Left hand to itself: “FML.”

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