Jessica Simpson Is The New Lil’ Wayne

Lil’ Wayne recently had to spend a third of his day in the dentist chair, because his dirty ass rotten mouth needed a bunch of root canals. Well, that’s in Jessica Simpson’s future, because she admitted that she hardly brushes her teeth. So now Papa Joe knows why Jessica looks at him funny whenever he walks around with a tube of toothpaste down his pants. Jessica ain’t interested. Not ever!

In an interview with iheartradio (clip above), Jessica singed the interviewer’s nostril hairs when she opened her dirty mouth and said, “I don’t brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine and sometimes I’ll use my sweater. I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. I mean, find me when I’m 60 and they’ll probably be all out.”

John Mayer described Jessica Simpson’s pussy as crack, but he didn’t say anything about how he had to pick food particles off his dick every time she went down on him. Note to any dude who is about to get down with Jessica, bring a pack of Glide with you! You’re going to need it to floss steak bits out of your peen hole.

Here’s dirty-mouthed Jessica greeting a dog in NYC yesterday. Dog is like, “Did my tongue go a little too deep when I licked my asshole this morning, or is that just your breath?”