Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 11, 2010 / Posted by:

My Abuelita, a book for ninos by Tony Johnston and Yuyi Morales

Anything that has the word “abuelita” on it automatically gets the “Hot Slut” stamp. It’s the way things work. The book’s description is the syrup on the flan:

Abuelita’s hair is the color of salt. Her face is as crinkled as a dried chile. She booms out words as wild as blossoms blooming. She stuffs her carcacha–her jalopy–with all the things she needs: a plumed snake, a castle, a skeleton, and more. Her grandson knows he has the most amazing grandmother ever–with a very important job. What does Abuelita do? With her booming voice and wonderful props, Abuelita is a storyteller. Next to being a grandmother, that may be the most important job of all.

The book’s description is charming, but the real talk truth is that my abuelita would never step outside without covering her salt-colored hair with a black lace veil or a Kangol hat. Or a Kangol hat on top of a black lace veil. Everything else is pretty much on point. All abuelitas permanently have a side-eye on you at all times and they are always cracking their knuckles in preparation for battle.

P.S. – That little gay boy’s eyebrows of perfection deserve a standing ovation.

(For Darcy)

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