The Butler Is Doing Everyone

Gerard Butler is continuing his quest of taste testing every vagina and anus on the planet by getting with Baby Jesus’ foster mother Vadge. Gerard and Vadge have known each other since she was married to Guy Ritchie, but apparently they took their relationship to the next level (level: gross) at her Oscar after-party in Hollywood on Sunday night.

A source says that while Baby Jesus was sucking on his thumb in his nursery far far away, Vadge was grinding all over Gerry’s greasy body. If you need a visual, just imagine a Gourami fish eating a cherry tomato.

Some witness-type told Hollywood Life, “She was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him – and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention.”

Gerry loves the attention he gets when the nurse practitioner burns off his genital warts one by one, so that’s not saying much. For real though, it sounds like nothing really happened. Gerry is old enough to talk back, so Vadge is not interested.

And this is the third or fourth story I’ve read about Vadge challenging hos to a dance-off. Who outside of high school parking lots (circa 1984) and churches challenges bitches to dance-offs?! Vadge, you are not one of the grannies from Don’t Be A Menace in South Central.