That Explains It

March 8, 2010 / Posted by:

Someone must have pissed in George Clooney’s lube bottle last night, because he threw sour-flavored grouchfaces throughout most of the Oscar awards. It’s as if someone told him the world’s supply of cocktail waitresses is dwindling. But there may be a valid reason for why George had “Garfield in the morning” eyes.

Ted Casablanca at E! says that George kept a flask of the sweet nectar in his jacket pocket and took sips from it while walking the red carpet. At one point, George opened his jacket and flashed his flask at his leased piece Elisabetta Canalis.

So my guess is that George’s flask went dry halfway through the Oscars, and he was too lazy to ask Meryl Streep for a refill (Meryl was definitely carrying) so he just sat there stewing in his own puddle of bitchness. That’s a reasonable response, because imagine if you had to get through the Oscars without some kind of substance (i.e. booze, ludes, the good shit or a box of Ho Hos) to dull the pain.

Toward the end of the night, George Clooney perked up a bit (evidence above), but I think that was due to his butt plug shifting in the RIGHT direction.

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >