I haven’t seen All About Steve, because unlike me, my DVD player is not a filthy nasty whore who sucks on absolutely anything you put in its mouth. If I shove All About Steve in its mouth, it will spit that shit out as if it was a smoker’s jizz load. So because of that I’m not sure if Sandra Bullock really gave Milk of Magnesia’s shittiest performance by an actress in a movie, but the Razzie voters thinks so and named her THE WORST for her awful work in All About Steve. And Sandra kept her promise by showing up in person to accept her award last night.
Sandra also brought along a wagon full of All About Steve DVDs for everyone to watch and rethink their decision. Sandra said, “I brought the shooting script. I’m willing to go through page by page, read the line the way I did it in the film and, if anyone wants to give me a line read of how I could’ve done it better…. We can do this till about 4 o’clock in the morning. Or you guys can just watch the movie and rethink your decision, and I’ll show up next year and we can go out for a drink afterward.”
Okay, Sandy, you win this time. I’ll go ahead and give you an awkward half-hug (our boobs won’t touch) for this. However, when your ass wins an Oscar tonight (UGH. AND UGH) for that after-school special, I will go back to throwing you shade. But let’s cherish this moment in the meantime.
And here’s the rest of the Razzie losers:
WORST PICTURE: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
WORST ACTORS: All three Jonas Brothers, “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience”
WORST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, “All About Steve”
WORST SCREEN COUPLE: Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper, “All About Steve”
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Billy Ray Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Sienna Miller, “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”
WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (Combined Category for 2009): “Land of the Lost”
WORST DIRECTOR: Michael Bay, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
WORST SCREENPLAY: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” written by Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, based on Hasbro’s Transformers Action Figures
WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE: “Battlefield Earth”
WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE: Eddie Murphy, “Adventures of Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Norbit,” “Showtime”
WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE: Paris Hilton, “The Hottie and the Nottie,” “House of Wax,” “Repo: The Genetic Opera”