Roger Ebert can no longer speak, eat or drink on his own after undergoing several surgeries for thyroid cancer. But thanks to a Scottish company, Roger Ebert can speak again in his own words. The computer-generated voice was built using hours of audio from Roger’s DVD commentaries and TV shows. In an interview with Oprah that airs this afternoon, Roger debuted his new voice.
So now you’ll have to tell your co-workers that your eyes aren’t red, because you were crying like a baby while watching the clip above. You’ll have to tell them that you were just smoking crack in the gas station bathroom during your lunch hour. And the wet spots on your shirt aren’t tears. It’s the cum stains left by the hustler you picked up on the side of the road. You know, the hustler you smoked crack with in the bathroom. There’s your defense.