At this point, the only news about Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller that would make me smear my pearl necklace is if I read that they get up at 6 every morning to pick organic vegetables from their garden to make fresh baby food for their twin sons. Other than that, everything else is filed under: DUH. Including this story from Radar about some around-the-way-ho who claims she had a drug-fueled threesome with the Sheens.
While Charlie and Brooke are currently trying to dry out, one of their former fuck buddies is shopping her story around to the highest bidder. A source said, “Brooke is bisexual. She and Charlie have had more than one woman share their bed in the short time they’ve been married. Some of the women they slept with together also did drugs with them.”
Radar says they don’t know who the woman is, but it wouldn’t be hard to figure out. They just have to follow Gloria Allred and she’ll lead them to the skank in question. Seriously, I think Gloria trained her nose to sniff out celebrity semen housed in a mistresses’ vagina. It’s a gift, really.
And again, this story goes without saying. It’s not like Charlie and Brooke did lines of the bad shit and then read Bible verses together. Although, I’d rather see that than a threesome sex tape (it’s coming, so brace your retinas).