Where Is Bette Midler When You Need Her?

March 1, 2010 / Posted by:

While leaving some fashion show in Milan this morning, LiLo decided that just a regular picture of her in a car wouldn’t sell, so she made it a money shot by throwing a can of Red Bull at the paps. Yes, bitch littered! I’m surprised Bette Midler didn’t chase that car down, jump on its roof, pull LiLo out by her weave and then drag her back to the can to pick it up with her teefs. There must an app for that.

And I’m not even sure that’s Red Bull liquid. Isn’t Red Bull the color of concentrated piss? Maybe that’s a cranberry and vodka? No, LiLo would never waste that. Or maybe LiLo threw up a cranberry and vodka into a Red Bull can? Or maybe it’s her dirty bath water? Or maybe she wrung out her tampo—– No, no, let’s not go to that place. Let’s just say it’s a Red Bull!

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