Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 28, 2010 / Posted by:

Zhora, the alcoholic Russian chimp who has been forced into rehab by his people.

Unfortunately for us, Zhora is one of those shy drunks, so there’s no pictures of him in action. Instead I had to use this picture of some chimp sucking on a water bottle in Shanghai. Just pretend that this Chinese chimp is Russian, and that the bottle of water is vodka. If that doesn’t work for you, just go to Google Images and type in “Mel Gibson.” That will give you hundreds of pictures of a drunk chimp.

Reuters reports that Zhora originally worked as a circus performer, but was sent to live in a zoo in Rostov after he got a little too aggressive. While at the zoo, Zhora discovered life’s four greatest pleasures: Sharpies, fucking, boozing and smoking! Yes, Zhora is totally your chimp.

When Zhora wasn’t drawing pictures with a Sharpie (aka sniffing that shit behind the cave) or wet humping on lady chimps, he was begging tourists for booze and cigarettes. Since you can’t deny a drunk chimp (ask Denise Richards), the tourists regularly gave Zhora what he wanted.

After Zhora got his 6th DUI, was caught with a dead hooker in his trunk and developed a major addiction to smoking banana skins, his handlers sent him off to rehab.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to buy a chimp suit and a ticket to Russia. I mean, a never-ending supply of Sharpies, free booze and cigarettes? We’re all in the wrong business.

(Thanks to all who sent this in)

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