Jon Cryer’s Ex-Wife Put A Hit Out On His Ass

February 26, 2010 / Posted by:

That kid on Two and a Half Men better stay under the covers with an exquisite lucite heel (it protects all) and not come out until the coast is clear, because all of his castmates have been cursed! While Charlie Sheen is trying to shake his hunger for the bad shit in rehab, Jon Cryer is looking over his shoulder for hitmen who are trying to take his life. Hitmen that were hired by his ex-wife Sarah Trigger. Esc + Can + Da + Lo.

Jon and Sarah are currently involved in a messy custody battle, and apparently she wanted to solve that shit by taking him out! TMZ says that Sarah’s ex-boyfriend Eddie Sanchez claims she asked him to kill Jon Cryer and her estranged husband David Dickey. Eddie says Sarah asked him several times. Sarah’s lawyer says that Eddie is the one who came to her client first with the plan to turn Two and a Half Men into One and a Half Men.

Sarah’s lawyer issued this statement: “Sarah has not threatened anyone, especially Jon and those are statements that are refuted and she has evidence to show that Mr. Sanchez has already recanted those statements to her.

I feel like Sarah’s mug shot (from when she was arrested for child abuse) holds all the answers. Is Sarah trying to summon cupcakes with her crazy eyes? Or is she trying to shoot hot daggers into Jon Cryer’s froat with her crazy eyes? Somebody wake STAINS from his 10th nap of the morning, because we’re going to need to hear his expert opinion.

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