Ellen Degeneres Is Not Snuggling Up To Simon Cowell’s Fur Titties

February 25, 2010 / Posted by:

On American Idol’s first live show Tuesday night, Ellen Degeneres made a joke that she’s sitting far away from Simon Cowell because he wouldn’t stop molesting her down low parts. According to TMZ’s sources, Ellen and Simon might be sitting far apart because they can’t stand each other. Apparently, Ellen would rather have an intimate conversation with Sarah Palin’s nipples than spend alone time with Simon.

Sources say that the hate between the two first bloomed during their first week of taping after Simon showed up late and kept the other judges waiting. Shit got serious after that. The sources went on to say that Ellen refuses to respect Simon’s cuntness, and isn’t happy that he’s so mean to the contestants. This of course fuels Simon’s bitch fire.

Okay, is Ellen new here, because Simon has been a bitchy ass bitch bitch from bitch town for CENTURIES! I mean, it’s in the Bible and everything. But seriously, I hope the feud gets thicker than Kara Diofuckoffalready’s skull, because it would take the focus off the fact that our favorite little pill popper is no longer on the panel.

It’s hard to watch that mess without Paula Abdul. It’s like going to group therapy and finding out that your favorite crazy (the one who would always tell the therapist to eff off) moved or got committed.

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