5 Things I’d Like To Do To The “Showgirls: The Return” Trailer

February 24, 2010 / Posted by:

When I first read that German filmmaker Marc Vorlander was working on a sequel to the most important cinematic masterpiece of the 20th Century, I was genuinely excited. But my excitement has gone limp after seeing this NSFW trailer for Showgirls: The Return.

This broke ass shit cost $25 million, but it makes a Heidi Montag video look like it has the budget of a James Cameron movie.

Unless your name is Tiger Woods, Josh Duhamel or Matthew Fox, there is no need to watch this mess. It’s just 4-minutes of topless strippers thrusting and writhing around.

If I ever meet this trailer in Las Vegas, these are the 5 things I would do to it:

1:

2:

3:

The other 2 are after the jump since they feature shiny nipples. JUMP!

4:

5:

(gifs via iconzicons)

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