When Glamberace Kissed Ke¢ha

Glamberace admitted to Long Island’s BLI In the Morning that he’s been known to stick his tongue into the sewer pipe belonging to that Ke¢ha creature. I guess because it beats trying to have a conversation with her, right?

Frankenliza gave the gritty details about brushing Ke¢ha’s teefs with his tongue, “She’s really pretty and we were laughing and we just started kissing. It was pretty innocent to be honest with you. I mean, it wasn’t too dirty.”

At first I started to think that if you’re going to knowingly catch mouth leprosy from kissing a dirt face, why would you choose Ke¢ha when you could go with someone sessier like Pete Doherty for example. But then I realized that Glamberace didn’t catch anything from kissing that trick, because she probably doesn’t have anything to catch.

Ke¢ha looks like one of those faux dirties. You know, the kind who looks like a filthy whore on the outside, but hasn’t done any of the work (i.e. vomit on a stranger’s bare peen in the back alley of a Bob’s Big Boy) to earn the title.

I bet Ke¢ha washes her hair with Strawberry Suave every night, brushes it 100 times before bed and sleeps on a silk pillow while wearing organic cotton pajamas. And then when she gets ready to go out as that Ke¢ha fool, she sticks her head in a bag with two rabid squirrels. That way she gets that fresh “just got a train ran on me” look. Then she spritzes herself down with one of Paris Hilton’s signature fragrances (smells like open sores, urethral discharge and Andre-laced barf). So Glamberace is safe and doesn’t need to make an appointment to see a nurse practitioner at the free clinic.

Wait, what the fuck am I going on about? Both of those bitches got dirty mouths. Cootie queens! Lint lickers!

via Gatecrasher