The Curious Case Of St. Angie’s Reptilian Neck

February 18, 2010 / Posted by:

The detectives over at Hollywood Life has pointed me to this picture from a photo agency of St. Angie’s strange neck situation in Venice, Italy yesterday. This better make Vanessa Paradis immediately run for Johnny Depp’s dick area and cover it with her life! Don’t let go, Gappy, because St. Angie’s man-stealing tentacles are already starting to show themselves. ….Or maybe Angie’s wearing a mask, because the divine beauty from her natural face could turn a mere mortal’s retinas to dust.

Hollywood Life brought in their own experts to analyze this photo, and they’ve come to the conclusion that these pictures have been touched by Photoshop. One expert said:

This photo is likely doctored and airbrushed. It’s blown up and looks distorted anyway, but if you look at the texture of the forehead, neck, chin and cheek mound right under her glasses, it is grainier and more pixilated than the back of the jaw.”

Basically, St. Angie has hypnotized them into believing a lie! But seriously, when I stare at the picture long the only thing I’m telling myself is, “Why in the fuck are you about to hit publish on this post.

Yeah, it’s going to be one of those days. So why don’t you grab a bottle of something strong (Thunderbird or Clorox will work) and meet me in the park.

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