This week’s POOP (nourish the inner asshole) newsletter teaches you how to get rid of your “batwings” using the Tracy Anderson Method. Now, I always thought the Tracy Anderson Method of toning your arms involved shoveling millions of dollars of other people’s money into your own wheel barrow. What I’m saying is that bitch is a money-stealing fraud. But for shits, read what Fishsticks has to say:
Many of you may already know of my passion for the Tracy Anderson Method and my investment in it. She has kicked my formerly sagging ass (Ed note: Fishsticks will forever be a giant sagging ass. Nice try, though) into shape and I will be forever grateful. This week, Tracy shares with us a little arm series that I did everyday preparing for Iron Man and that I take on the road. She just made it home-made style for me, lo fi. But it’s good. Especially for the batwing problem. Also, some of her dedicated clients talk about why they love her as much as I do. She has some brand new DVD’s that I have been doing in my hotel room on location and which I highly recommend.
Could this ho be anymore pretentious? In my hotel room on location?! You LO FI BITCH, stay on location forever. And preferably a location with no wireless internet or any other form of communication (that includes carrier pigeons and campfires).
Anyways, here are the lo fi batwing-biotics Fishy does from her hotel room when she’s on location, as presented by Tracy Anderson:
I have a feeling that Tracy The Thief has struck again. Tracy didn’t invent this technique. I’m pretty sure this is what it looks like when Fishsticks tries to have sex with Chris Martin.
And don’t try this at home or your (fill in the name of your boyfriend, cat, or imaginary friend here) will think you’re crazy….er.