What A Big Blow Up For Such A Small Man

February 17, 2010 / Posted by:

It’s common knowledge that The Insider is the new therapist’s couch, so it’s not surprising that the evil goblin with the giant temper went there to discuss his marriage problems with some broad named Lisa Bloom. When Lisa got on Gary Coleman for allegedly abusing his wife, he exploded into a tornado of “fuck offs” before jumping off of his booster seat and storming back to the playroom.

You know, I’m with Gary. Does this Lisa chick know who Gary Coleman is (answer: probably not)? You do not talk to Gary like that without giving him lollipop first. Fuck Lisa Bloom! Fuck Lara Whatever! And FUCK all of them!

That being said, Gary was lying when he said he doesn’t have a volatile relationship with anybody. It’s obvious that Gary has a volatile relationship with lotion, because they haven’t touched each other for years. Seriously, can the heavens open up and shower Gary with Baby Oil?

And are you making the waffles or am I?

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