Tiger Woods Will Say He’s Sorry This Friday

February 17, 2010 / Posted by:

Recovering sex addict (do you hear my eyes rolling?) Tiger Woods will give the performance of his life this Friday afternoon when he says he’s sowwy for sticking his peen in every cocktail waitress with an unlimited text message plan. This is from Tiger’s site:

Tiger Woods will be speaking to a small group of friends, colleagues and close associates at 11:00 a.m. EST on Friday at the TPC Sawgrass Clubhouse in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla. Tiger plans to discuss his past and his future, and he plans to apologize for his behavior.

While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between him and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him. He also let down his fans. He wants to begin the process of making amends, and that’s what he’s going to discuss.

His remarks will be open to a press pool for live coverage. It is NOT a news conference.

Tiger’s affairs are between him and his wife’s golf club, but he does owe all of us an apology. He needs to apologize for introducing the world to Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Jamie Jungers, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, etc…etc…

And I have a feeling Tiger’s apology serenade is going to be full of the bores. Tiger should spice things up a bit by taking an Ambien before the press conference so we can see what all the fuss is about.

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