The world already has the Twidildo, RPantiezz and now we’ve got the Twilight “Manllows” from Etsy. Barry Manilow is throwing this mess a shank eye, because replace the “l” with an “i” and it’s got his name! And let’s all throw a shank eye at this hump toy’s description from its genius creator (who is probably going to retire off of all the cash she’s making from horny Twitwards):
Manllow: half man, half pillow.
For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Edward Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one.
Made of soft cotton jersey, screen printed face, polyester stuffing and love.
Why are we still bothering with all this unnecessary foreplay? The Twilight Manllow is just another meaningless handjob leading up to the inevitable: The refrigerated Robert Pattinson real doll that isn’t allergic to vaginas (or people with no dignity).
I mean, can you imagine trying to scrub out genital juice from the Twilight Manllow? I bet it’s not even Scotchgarded.
With all that being said, can somebody write the Manllow creator and ask her if she can make an Anderson Cooper one for Jennifer Aniston, because her Boyfriend Pillow left her. YES, Jennifer Aniston wants to know (I’m lying, it’s for me).