Brangelina and the sacred brigade are in Venice, Italy for the next three months while St. Angie works on ripping Johnny Depp’s penis out of Vanessa Paradis’ gap (aka she’s doing a movie with him). In other news, the Vatican has announced they are going on sabbatical for the next three months to devote all their time to worshiping Brangelina. In other other news, the Monchichis of the world have gone into permanent hibernation, because they can’t compete with Shiloh.
And in case you’re wondering if the twin messiahs have ran away for good and are now selling boiled peanuts on the side of a road in Barstow somewhere, click here to see a picture of them in Venice. They probably went unnoticed, because their halos are hidden underneath those wool beanies.